Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Bionic Woman.

So...the Olympics will bring in loads of money to the country will it? In fact so far it's done the oppersite with less people visiting London than this time last year! From the BBC website..."The Badminton World Federation has charged eight female Olympic doubles players with "not using one's best efforts to win a match". But it was one of the more entertaining things I've seen since the Opening Ceremony. I've been looking after my Mother who has not long got out of hospital after having a knee replaced. She's been in a bit of pain and I've been running around making sure life is comfortable as she's not very mobile at the minute.....well, she's very mobile when she thinks no-ones about, sneaking about getting a biscuit or something out of her Choc Stash. Having witnessed this twice yesterday, Ive now decided I'm on holiday from helping as she seems perfectly capable to do things herself. Oh, and if her surgeon is reading, that 4 hours giving her a nice new knee was a waste of time as she's not doing what the Physio has told her to do. Old people, as annoying as Teenagers.

Monday, 30 July 2012

Hey Paul.....Sod off!

So the Olympics has finally started. I have to hand it to Danny Boyle for the Opening Ceremony. Was well impressed.....well, I was until Paul McCartney appeared. He started plonking on the piano and I said to my dearest well at least he is'nt playing Hey Jude. How fucking wrong was I! Fair enough, he was in one of the biggest bands ever, and a part of British cultural history but for fuck sake he wasn't the only one. And why the fuck does he do Hey Jude all the sodding time? It's not even a good song. Plus I think he's a twat.

Apart from that it was impressive and those fire works at the end, WOW! It almost rivalled my firework display last bonfire night.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Alot Of Fuss Over A Man With A Stick!

It was our turn for the Olympic Stick yesterday. It passed through my town being carried by some bloke I've never seen or heard of before. He had a dog too, and it goes everywhere with him when he goes out to work. His job is some sort of fire and rescue thing. What I want to know is why we didn't have someone famous with very little connection to the area carry it through like in so many other towns around this once great country. Yes, I'm on one as usual. The town council are really what's got up my nose and their efforts to welcome the Stick. they closed 60% of roads when the route only went along two. Slight over kill and a damned inconvienence to the normal folk who like me were coming home from work and had a massive de-tour of a journey that would normally take 5 mins at most. but this is what made me shake my head with disbelief.........
That is the effort of the council, one solitary banner, and not visible in the picture is the fact it was filthy dirty. The flags by the way are left over from the Jubilee that nobody could be arsed to take down. So all in all, yet another pointless exercise people seen to go nuts for these days. It was in Lincoln last night, they had fireworks. Mablethorpe had a flypass by the Dakota, and street performers doing cartwheels, juggling and alsorts. We had a 3 piece brass band out of tune and a march by a hand full of Air Cadets. I love it! My Brother is a War Hero, having been one of the first over the border into Iraq on the 2nd Gulf conflict. He Also took part in a raid on a Mostar bank while in Bosnia that was holding laundered money from the War there. He came from Bosnia with the story of how while on patrol near Banja Luka they were approached by a nervous farmer who ushered them toward a barn. Mindful of possible dangers they investigated the barn only to be greeted with a Russian built mobile gun buried under 5 foot of pigeon shit. It turned out the fleeing Armies gave the Farmer the Vehicle in exchange for his pick up truck so they could get out of there without being blown to bits by Nato aircraft. To cut along story short (which strangely involved Boy George at one point) it ended up in England at the Imperial War Museum Duxford.
I've just finished my latest model and damned fine it looks too. It's a Hercules Transporter.

Monday, 4 June 2012

Prometheus.......Oh Yes!

Prometheus, I've been waiting for it since I first heard Ridley Scott made the announcement he was re-visiting the Alien Universe with a prequel to the original Alien film. OK, it's not a sequel.....but it almost is and god it's good. The Engineer creature is so cool but not in it enough and theres to many questions left unanswered. I'm not interested in this 3D having seen several films that it hasn't worked on, however, the 3D in this has been done very well.

Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Technology and the old folk.

My Dad's been pulling his hair out because he can't get his new "Recordable" Digi-box working. "Well, I can't get the sodding thing to work...there's no sound on any of the channels for have a look at it as I've spent ages trying alsorts", was the rant at the end of the phone. I, being an all round nice bloke, went to have a look. The problem was solved in approximately 2 seconds. "Try plugging the scart lead in all the way 'til it goes no further dad" I said. I've been running tests for the last few days and it's recording OK so fuck knows what he's going on about. Sad how something as simple as a digi-box can confuse a man once responsible for keeping Britain safe from Nuclear obvilion during the cold war isn't it! Oh well, The sun's out today for a change and I've celebrated with a can of Shandy Bass.....not as nice as I remember.

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Thought I'd drop by.

OK I've been busy so I've not been here for a bit. The new job going great and I've been accepted into the gang. Now I'm going to feel really horrid now as everyone's been really nice to me and I have to say they are all nice people....well except one, who's not particularly not nice but something doesn't particularly sit right with me. Anyways, they're all nice but for fuck sake they need livening up. I spent the last 10 years working for a company that seemed to attract characters and despite it nearly driving to mental breakdown I did have some great laughs. I have to share my break with a lady who eats Apples loudly (not that gum-slapping noise, just loud munching and swallowing) and who's main conversation is how she's having to work longer before she can retire/get a pension blah blah blah! Tough Shit. I'll be lucky to ever retire and get a state pension. This is Daily by the way. I'm now resorting to lunch in the carpark sat in the car as the bunch of girls I share my lunch slot with a) don't talk to me! and b) sit and slag off the same people they did the day before. My Manager is a nice bloke, but I do have a funny feeling he's done it on purpose, as a test or character building exercise. He won't break me...oh no....he won't.
I've finished the Red Arrow model. like it? I've had a bit of a break from modelling but started again a few weeks ago. Now working on a Hercules, which is looking rather good and Buccaneer which I've stalled on for the minute. There's been some good music out these last few weeks. Currently Richard Hawley's "Standing at the Sky's Edge" and Beach House "Bloom" albums are on constant rotation. Check them out: Right, I'm off to do some washing and watch the Big Bang Theory.....laters.

Monday, 2 April 2012

All Systems Go!

I'm employed again. As of tomorrow I'm a warehouse man for a company who specialise in Dance Clothing. Quite appropriate for me being an ex break dance champion!! In fact I taught Micheal Jackson the art of the Moon Walk back in '78 when I was 2 years old.
This isn't me!

I spoke to my mate over at the Seaton Carew Diaries via email today. Was getting concerned as he's not updated his great Blog in ages. I was glad to hear he's alive and well and trying to find his muse whilst travelling the country with some New Age Travellers after a early mid-life crisis and went to find himself. Nice One Birbs.

Music time again and straight in at number one is this Duo from Sweden called First Aid Kit. Not sure about the name but they are really good. Like a female Fleet Foxes with a hint of country. I'm digging it man!!!

Wednesday, 28 March 2012 to make sense!

Oh the memories!

The recent nice weather has got me thinking. As you know I'm a jobless bum again so I'm alone with my thoughts most of the day as I've got no friends!! Well, my thoughts have taken me back to the days just after I left school, the mid 90's (OK 1993) and as usual the memories are usually filled with the music I was into at the time. I've always been into everything, I like music, not all of it but you could say I'm a bit obsessed. So, I've been up in the attic having a look through my old Tapes and CD's (I miss Tapes). Thankfully I have a cassette player that still works so I cleaned the Heads up and played some of my collection. There's alsorts in there, Ozric Tentacles, Orbital, Back To The Planet, Levellers, alsorts. Orbital though I hadn't listened to in ages so I decided to revisit and downloaded a few albums on MP3. Eat Static being another, the Abduction album was played to absolute death when it came out by me and a couple of mates.

I remember seeing Orbital on the TV at Glastonbury though and liked what I was hearing but loved the torch glasses. They've just performed the Radio 6 Music gigs still wearing them!

Whats the best thing for a stiff neck?

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Man Vs Food

Has anyone seen the TV program Man Vs Food? I've become hooked on it. Not because I'm some sort of Food buff or anything but for reasons I will get to. It's basically about an American bloke called Adam Richman and his quest to find Americas' best food Hotspots. Now then, by best food hotspots he doesn't mean fine dining (although that depends on your view of fine dining!), he actually means places that sell the biggest, hottest or most craziest menus.

Nine times of Ten times this consists of fried, battered junk food so we aren't talking Heston Blumanthal style. We are also treated to some Seafood creations that would give Rick Stein a heart attack (literally). Todays episode saw our hero take on the "Chilli Firebrand Challenge" in a Chilli Shack in Springfield Illinois, five bowls of their hottest chilli. ten pounds of minced beef, a truck load of beans which I presumed where Kidney Beans and their chilli sauce which was a secret recipe. To be fair even looking at it made me sweat. It looked like the inside of a Volcano. This was then dished up and had a huge amount of cheese dumped on top. He did it.....but it hurt. There was also a place that sold sandwiches, well I say sandwiches, more food mountain inbetween two slices of toasted bread doorstops. One of note contained humburgers, a pile of french fries and covered in an ocean of Cheese sauce. It looked awful. But thats not all, on past episodes there was a place that served portions of Seafood, mainly Crab and Lobster, that are so huge they don't bother with plates and just dump it straight on the table and a monster Burger wwith just about everything you could image in it, including a Fucking Doughnut! Yes Doughnut.

I was cleaning my teeth this morning and got thinking. As we all know we get ripped of left, right and centre in this country. For example Mars Bars are smaller, Crisp packets are usually half empty etc etc. There was even and advert for Aero on TV the other day proclaiming as if its a good thing that they are now more bubblier! Yes, thats more air and less chocolate for the same money. And like twats we go with it. Back to my story, cleaning my teeth and I realised the Toothpaste I've used for years isn't really a Toothpaste anymore, more a Toothfoam. Colgate is the offending item, the Standard Toothpaste in the red and white tube, not the fancy "Rebuilds your teeth and whitens at the same time if you use it 3 times a day and tastes like chalk" shite. I remember in the olden days you use toothpast to plaster your walls with, the stuff that if you dropped a bit in the sink you needed road sweeper to clean it away. Not anymore, it's this light fluffy stuff that if you aren't careful and get in your mouth quickly its likely to float off round the bathroom.

Is it me? Do I have to much time on my hands or am I correct?

Monday, 19 March 2012

Radio 6 Music 10 years

There's been a series of showings from the BBC 6 Music Birthday gigs on the "Red Button" and as I've had very little to do I've watched them. My Personal Highlights have been Orbital

And Public Image Ltd

The vast majority was shit however.

You may know that I tend to get irritated by Radio DJ's pretty easily. Most talk complete crap, Steve Wright and Chris Evans being at the top of my "punch if I meet them" list. I do find though, 6 music presenters to have a bit more about them, for example, they actually seem to be music fans and know what they are talking about. Sadly though Steve Lamaq is starting to grate (you are not a Student anymore) and Lauren Lavern is turning into the new Jo Wiley. It's a great station for music so I urge everyone to stop listening to the mainstream stations and listen to this instead.

Anyways, back to the Live gigs, listen to them online and the 6 music site.

I signed on the dole this morning, despite still not knowing if I'm entitled to anything!

Gruff Rhys is great.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Lightning & Any Colour You Like.

The Lightning is finished. Well I say finished, it is as far as I'm concerned. I've missed the missiles off, simply because the parts that connect the missile to the plane didn't fit well and I couldn't be arsed pissing about. I also had Decal issues, the main being the long white strips that run along the wings broke up in to small pieces so I had to bodge them to look the best I could and there were a hell of small ones, very small in fact and extremely fiddly for my great plates for hands. So, I've called it a day with this. I'm happy with it though considering.

I am tempted with another Ligning though, a 1/48 scale. Never done on in that size. Shall see how the funds go.

I'm a music head, as I've mentioned before and sometimes a tune comes from nowhere and gets inside my head and wont go away. I got a free CD with Mojo magazine a few months ago. It was to coincide with the re-release of the Pink Floyd special edition albums. Most of it was rubbish but two tracks stuck out. This one by comedian Matt Berry, who you would have seen in The Mighty Boosh, Garth Marenghi's Dark place and many other things. He's also a musician and did this cover of "Any Colour You Like" from Darkside of the Moon. I rather like it.

He also does this:


The other track by The Last Hurrah!! "Great Gig In The Sky" contains some really nice guitar. It's not really that different from the original but has their "sound" injected.

Monday, 12 March 2012


OK, It wasn't a break down I was heading for it was yet another bug of somekind which I'm still suffering with having spent the weekend in bed.

I'm getting new neighbours and I'm waiting with baited breath how it goes. They look a bit rough but as they say should judge a book by its cover.....bollocks, I'm expecting trouble. It's how my life works these days.

I'm now back in the job market and sadly missed out on a job last week by a couple of days. So this morning it's been phone calls to Job Centre and Tax office. Job Centre peopleI've always found to be very helpful over the phone and today was no different. The HMRC on the other hand no so. getting passed from pillar to post and eventually ending up where I started just to tell them I'm not self employed anymore. I'm fed up with it...nothing it seems is simple anymore.

I'm going to carry on with my modelling, keep my brain working in these dull days. I started an English Electric Lightning at the end of last year and aim to get that finished. I also have a Rd arrow thats done and needs painting and a Buccaneer that I started which needed attention. Along with a few other models I've been given lately it should keep me busy.

Has anyone see the latest Noel Fielding series? I can't quite make my mind up about it....

Thursday, 8 March 2012

I think I'm Having a Breakdown.

After the last few weeks of bullshit and stress I think my body is reacting. Woke up this morning and have been sick twice for no apparent reason and I've got the shakes. I feel generally uneasy about things for some reason. I'm hoping this will pass as I've got job seeking to do and a depression will not help things. I don't suffer with depression by the way but I'm not feeling myself at all and feel I could easily slip into a dark mood.

Today so far I've tried to sort my tax out with the HMRC and luckily actually got through to a person. Unfortunately I can't sort anything out until after Saturday! It's then down to the Job Centre to see what they advise, no doubt more bollocks. I'm then going to see if I can get some application forms from various places and visit a previous employer to see if he minds giving me a reference.

It's then up to my girlfriends house for a few days, hopefully get my head together.

sorry again for the moan.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Yes, I've got too much time on my hands again.

Well I've just been down town to replace the rear windscreen wiper blade on my car and ended up needing new front ones as I notice they were perished and splitting aswell, £15 spent. On arrival back home a letter from DVLA, £90 for 6 months road tax (or more if I want a year). Isn't it funny these things are due when your skint!

Another One Bites The Dust.....Thank Fuck.

Well, I lasted 2 months. That's 2 months of being ripped off, generally fucked around and lied to. I finally told my "boss" to "shove your job up your arse". From day one he's lied, generally taken the piss, as I've mentioned here before, and after some thought I decided at the weekend I've had enough of it. He cut my wages after cutting some of my route and giving it to somebody else and then slowly added drops and not adding to my wage yet pocketing the extra money himself. After working out the hourly rate I wasn't even meeting the national minimum wage and considering I was doing 12 hour days near enough every day I think thats a bit cheeky. I was also promised a new Merc Sprinter Van, which I did have.....for 4 days until he swopped it for an ex-rental 2006 reg Iveco that didn't have a door that shut properly, no central locking on the side door unless you lent against it when you locked it, poor hand brake (when I mentioned it needed looking at he said it was ok because it was getting MOT'd at the end of March!), no interior lights, I could go on and on. The reason he said he'd swopped it was he wanted to save on Diesel, OK I can't blame him on that, but due to the Vans past life, it wasn't economical, in fact you could literally see the fuel gauge drop once it reached the half way mark. So, it's back to looking for work and a lesson learnt, trust your instincts as usually I'm right with first impressions.

OK, I've spoke of my hatred of Grantham before. I thought i'd share this with you so you can get a glimps why. Last week I amongst my many drops on Dysart Road I had a couple which should have been simple, the 1st was for (company name), unit 3, Dysart Road. The 2nd was for Steve, Unit 3a, Dysart Rd. Right, would you put these 2 addresses together, neighbours of each other? Yeah you could safely say they would be. Oh No! Not in Grantham. I fact the where about 400m metres from each other on different sides of the road and in 2 different Industrial areas. I spent a good 20 mins plus trying to find Steve as there was no company name. have a look a the diagram to get some idea.

Anyways, thats my moan over with.

Sunday, 26 February 2012

The Irritatation, The Wall And The Bent Door.

Friday, I was a bad day for me. It started off waking up at 2am and not being able to go back to sleep. I arrived for work at 6am as usual and carried out my daily pre-delivery jobs, sorting route out and loading up. I was knackered. I set off for "The Planet" (otherwise known as Grantham) at about quater past 8. I arrive at my first drop, a street like so many in the town with a dead end and no room to turn round, that wide enough for single file traffic and where all laws and common sence regarding parking cars seems to be non-existant. Unfortunate for me I had to venture to the bottom of this street as I had 3 Huge and heavy boxes to deliver. I had been to this address the day before but the people weren't in so I knew I could with care get down and do a very controlled 3 point turn and get back out again. I got to the property, this time they were in however the bloke was more interested in selling me some super dooper olive oil and wouldn't get out my face. In the end I politely told him I wasn't intersted and jumped in my Van. I started my "Controlled manouvering" and all was going to plan until...Bang! I'd hit a wall. Shit! I got the van round and jumped out, no damage to the wall thank fuck but I hadn't shut the back door which was now slightly bent. I got it shut with no problem and having a quick look around saw there were no witnesses and made my escape. It wasn't until I reached my next drop I realise the door was bust and wouldn't open. That then fucked me up for the rest of the day and put me so far behind it wasn't true. I hate this job with passion. The job, and the shithole I have to drive round all day. Oh well, worth a giggle now.

Grantham has no place in my heart as you are probably aware but for years the towns people have been petitioning for a bypass. I have to say I'm now on their side. A bypass would be a great idea as in areas it really isn't built for modern traffic. I have however got an idea, build a huge road though the town. The government should make a compulsary purchase of "The Planet", wall it off from the rest of the world and build a huge road through it so when the rest of the world use this "Bypass" and look from the comfort of their vehicle at the walled off "The Planet" and see how not to do things and let human race end up like this!.

A great idea if you ask me. I mean come on they can't even talk properly. For instance, in English we have the "ee" sound don't we? so for instance (yes not spelt correctly but spelt so you get my drift), Munee (Money) in Grantham is spoken exactly like this: Mon Eh. Or if you are called Harry for instance be prepared to be called "Ah reh" or, coke is fizzy, not in Grantham as it's Fiz Eh. You get the point. OK not a major thing but it's fucking annoying to hear, it sounds awful.

So, I've been back on the jobsites to see what's out there. Can't be arsed with this shit anymore.

Rant over. see ya.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

It's life Jim but not as we know it.

OK, not post for a while but I've been busy with this new job. I can't say I like it or the boss but its putting a few quid in my pocket.

Grantham. I spend my day there. I deliver to every corner of that shithole and I'm now completely convinced what I've said all's full of oddballs and it's shit. A town where it's deemed the height of fashion to wear sovereign rings and really thick gold chains over the top of your jumper for all to see, Streets which have no order to the house numbers, a shopping centre full of shops but only 3 have delivery points at the back so a mile walk to deliver to the others, where it seems young lads like to brawl in the middle of the road (I've seen 3). I could go on and on but I really can't be arsed. It's depressing and why anyone would live there is beyond me.

I liked the mighty boosh it was funny and different. Noel Fieldings new series however sadly isn't, or rather it's mildly amusing but I don't like it as much as The Boosh. Top Gears back too, Yawn! someone needs to tell Hammond he isn't funny and pretending to be a bit stupid doesn't work. Steve Wright needs his mouth sewing shut along with Chris Evans who has insisted on playing a complete shit song from the new Muppets film every fucking day and proclaim it's a work of genius, sorry Chris, you're wrong and you're a cock.

I think I need a holiday, away from this planet.

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Eastbound and bollocks

I think I must be the only courier driver to bring back more items than I left with! Not enjoying the job, not helped by a boss who brings laziness to a new level. It's been "Let's all be arseholes" day in Grantham today. Well, that town has more than its fair share of those but today they've really gone for it.

I've just recieved news that my partners 2 young 'uns have passed their Aikido exam. They are now Blue belts so a big congrats to them.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

My hearts not in it.

OK, not liking my new job. Simple. The boss is a twat and my hatred for Grantham is borderline insane. That place really does depress me, seriously. Oh well, It'll do for the time being.

I've been thinking, isn't Lego a con. Or should I say, aren't Lego conning us? 30 odd quid for a huge box (with overblown picture on front to fool us!) and inside, enough bricks to build a square tower and inch or so high, a little man, a Lego style Dinosaur and a couple of crap odd shaped trees!

I really fancied the new Batman sets but I can't justify spending my pocket money on it!

My neighbour died last week, she was 92. Very sad indeed as she was a lovely ol' gal. RIP Hilda.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Music Alert.....Music Alert

Today I hit the ground with a bump. Was out on my own for the first time and struggled thanks to a number of things I can't really be arsed to go into at the minute. Thankfully I was joined by my wingman, J, who helped get back on track. So, this evening I'm no longer the one on trial, my new "boss" is as he's not doing himself any favours with me so far.

Anyway, enough of the serious shit. Music, I recently bought the latest Maccabees album, been a fan since the last album which was really good. Well, this new one has really got into my head so I thought I'd bring it here for people to discover themselves. This vid is from a Live Lounge session for the BBC and is from the new album, it's far from the best track on there, so, I'd advise further investigation if you feel like I do about this.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

East bound and down.......

....Loaded up and trucking, we're gonna do what they said can't be done. We've gotta long way to go and a short time to get there, I'm east bound so watch ole bandit run.

New jobs going great so far rubber duck. Was goin' 110 before I hit the gate an' I got my ears on!

Tuesday, 3 January 2012


I've just watched the teaser trailer for the new Ridley Scott film "Prometheus" due out this year. WOW!

If you watch carefully you will see what looks like the Creature out of the 1st, and best, Alien film. You know the one, it's sat in that giant chair thing on the spaceship they investigate before John Hurt gets got!!

Looking forward to it.

Started new job today. Went ok, but Grantham's still a shit hole.

Monday, 2 January 2012

Hurrah! The Bollocks Is Over.

OK, it's all over for another year. Xmas/New Year, gets worse every year. I'm glad it's over.

My dislike for Harry Potter films is well known to family and friends but a pretty controversial opinion when in the presence of my dearest and her eldest son. It's probably made worse by his insistance on running about with a toy Wand shouting "Abra Spewmantieum" or whatever it is. It's utter clap-trap, ripped off from a thousand other fantasy stories. I see, yet again, British TV companies are playing the damned films AGAIN, not 2 months since doing it before.
I had the misfortune of enduring the final installment over the festive period. What a let down the death of Voldermort was! I was expecting some huge explosion of magic and special effects but for me, like the rest of the films, was pretty average.

It's been a weekend of shit films though, Friday night it was Apollo 18.....and last night....Conan! Avoid at all cost.