Sunday, 26 February 2012

The Irritatation, The Wall And The Bent Door.

Friday, I was a bad day for me. It started off waking up at 2am and not being able to go back to sleep. I arrived for work at 6am as usual and carried out my daily pre-delivery jobs, sorting route out and loading up. I was knackered. I set off for "The Planet" (otherwise known as Grantham) at about quater past 8. I arrive at my first drop, a street like so many in the town with a dead end and no room to turn round, that wide enough for single file traffic and where all laws and common sence regarding parking cars seems to be non-existant. Unfortunate for me I had to venture to the bottom of this street as I had 3 Huge and heavy boxes to deliver. I had been to this address the day before but the people weren't in so I knew I could with care get down and do a very controlled 3 point turn and get back out again. I got to the property, this time they were in however the bloke was more interested in selling me some super dooper olive oil and wouldn't get out my face. In the end I politely told him I wasn't intersted and jumped in my Van. I started my "Controlled manouvering" and all was going to plan until...Bang! I'd hit a wall. Shit! I got the van round and jumped out, no damage to the wall thank fuck but I hadn't shut the back door which was now slightly bent. I got it shut with no problem and having a quick look around saw there were no witnesses and made my escape. It wasn't until I reached my next drop I realise the door was bust and wouldn't open. That then fucked me up for the rest of the day and put me so far behind it wasn't true. I hate this job with passion. The job, and the shithole I have to drive round all day. Oh well, worth a giggle now.

Grantham has no place in my heart as you are probably aware but for years the towns people have been petitioning for a bypass. I have to say I'm now on their side. A bypass would be a great idea as in areas it really isn't built for modern traffic. I have however got an idea, build a huge road though the town. The government should make a compulsary purchase of "The Planet", wall it off from the rest of the world and build a huge road through it so when the rest of the world use this "Bypass" and look from the comfort of their vehicle at the walled off "The Planet" and see how not to do things and let human race end up like this!.

A great idea if you ask me. I mean come on they can't even talk properly. For instance, in English we have the "ee" sound don't we? so for instance (yes not spelt correctly but spelt so you get my drift), Munee (Money) in Grantham is spoken exactly like this: Mon Eh. Or if you are called Harry for instance be prepared to be called "Ah reh" or, coke is fizzy, not in Grantham as it's Fiz Eh. You get the point. OK not a major thing but it's fucking annoying to hear, it sounds awful.

So, I've been back on the jobsites to see what's out there. Can't be arsed with this shit anymore.

Rant over. see ya.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

It's life Jim but not as we know it.

OK, not post for a while but I've been busy with this new job. I can't say I like it or the boss but its putting a few quid in my pocket.

Grantham. I spend my day there. I deliver to every corner of that shithole and I'm now completely convinced what I've said all's full of oddballs and it's shit. A town where it's deemed the height of fashion to wear sovereign rings and really thick gold chains over the top of your jumper for all to see, Streets which have no order to the house numbers, a shopping centre full of shops but only 3 have delivery points at the back so a mile walk to deliver to the others, where it seems young lads like to brawl in the middle of the road (I've seen 3). I could go on and on but I really can't be arsed. It's depressing and why anyone would live there is beyond me.

I liked the mighty boosh it was funny and different. Noel Fieldings new series however sadly isn't, or rather it's mildly amusing but I don't like it as much as The Boosh. Top Gears back too, Yawn! someone needs to tell Hammond he isn't funny and pretending to be a bit stupid doesn't work. Steve Wright needs his mouth sewing shut along with Chris Evans who has insisted on playing a complete shit song from the new Muppets film every fucking day and proclaim it's a work of genius, sorry Chris, you're wrong and you're a cock.

I think I need a holiday, away from this planet.