Has anyone seen the TV program Man Vs Food? I've become hooked on it. Not because I'm some sort of Food buff or anything but for reasons I will get to. It's basically about an American bloke called Adam Richman and his quest to find Americas' best food Hotspots. Now then, by best food hotspots he doesn't mean fine dining (although that depends on your view of fine dining!), he actually means places that sell the biggest, hottest or most craziest menus.
Nine times of Ten times this consists of fried, battered junk food so we aren't talking Heston Blumanthal style. We are also treated to some Seafood creations that would give Rick Stein a heart attack (literally). Todays episode saw our hero take on the "Chilli Firebrand Challenge" in a Chilli Shack in Springfield Illinois, five bowls of their hottest chilli. ten pounds of minced beef, a truck load of beans which I presumed where Kidney Beans and their chilli sauce which was a secret recipe. To be fair even looking at it made me sweat. It looked like the inside of a Volcano. This was then dished up and had a huge amount of cheese dumped on top. He did it.....but it hurt. There was also a place that sold sandwiches, well I say sandwiches, more food mountain inbetween two slices of toasted bread doorstops. One of note contained humburgers, a pile of french fries and covered in an ocean of Cheese sauce. It looked awful. But thats not all, on past episodes there was a place that served portions of Seafood, mainly Crab and Lobster, that are so huge they don't bother with plates and just dump it straight on the table and a monster Burger wwith just about everything you could image in it, including a Fucking Doughnut! Yes Doughnut.
I was cleaning my teeth this morning and got thinking. As we all know we get ripped of left, right and centre in this country. For example Mars Bars are smaller, Crisp packets are usually half empty etc etc. There was even and advert for Aero on TV the other day proclaiming as if its a good thing that they are now more bubblier! Yes, thats more air and less chocolate for the same money. And like twats we go with it. Back to my story, cleaning my teeth and I realised the Toothpaste I've used for years isn't really a Toothpaste anymore, more a Toothfoam. Colgate is the offending item, the Standard Toothpaste in the red and white tube, not the fancy "Rebuilds your teeth and whitens at the same time if you use it 3 times a day and tastes like chalk" shite. I remember in the olden days you use toothpast to plaster your walls with, the stuff that if you dropped a bit in the sink you needed road sweeper to clean it away. Not anymore, it's this light fluffy stuff that if you aren't careful and get in your mouth quickly its likely to float off round the bathroom.
Is it me? Do I have to much time on my hands or am I correct?